Laying grovelling on the grass shalt not bringest forth the cure.

Sirs, what adventure hath brought ye here? Thou cheer in my misfortune?For if it is not known yet and I am far from the best damnsel in all the world but as pure as any old snow and with a cross amidst my chest, I'll confess then and there is a strange and painful discomfort in around my neck. The shield that once protected my bosom is lost forever and damned. For what my seemingly loyal peers sayeth me cheering : "this shield should hang from no knights/damnsels chest unless he/she be the worthiest in the world". I warn ye therefore, knights ; consider well before ye darest touch me again... !!! The discomfort hast arisen worst and I bore the damned shield grievously to "Bagdemagus Brake" my stop shop for all things itchy-witchy. Bagdemagus is an old sot that sometimes talks with truth and attends this shop. He sayeth me "Because this shield enchanted is with body fluids of a grievously-sick-wounded-nigh-to-death knight, its wearer shalt cometh to injury or possibly to death". Now, blessed be Janos and Cybeles and fortune for this revelation.
The bogus I delivered out in the yester-day, and the itch of this morning hast a not a sea in common but a puddle. As the veil uncovereth the mystery of my wound, reflecteth I. How canst I override the powers of one infected shield? Which elixir shalt restorest me and once dipped my neck in its drops shalt return me to the figure of cheer again? I hath to cover and hide my injury in that veil for the foul smoke from my wounds leaped up to the loathiest figure that ever I hath seen in the likeness of men; a gay-blood boy. I remembereth the goblet that many a knight were looking: a grail which turneth many loathiest figures in fair maidens, a hideous noise in baroque music with castanets, a cursed-willed body into a course on Will's body... I shalt seek sayeth grail too.
Now that amidst seven hundred knights in one close company hath I been madeth the point of cheer, I shalt rush to pillage. I'll receive their submission and countenance.