In hoc signes vinces,

Everywhere we went we found solitude and stillness. Nobody hast read nor heard nothing new about the gay-blood boy and/or the grail and begineth I to suspect foul play.
My company and I hast been wondering the forest, the rivers, the parks, the fords, the banks where we would have rested had it not been by a multitude of well armed knights come forth and asked us by strange and vigorous hand signs if we were free tonight. Within awhile we heard a great horn blow and saw the gestures of these knights who were sorely understood by one of my experts, Sir Harpocratus¹, our deaf-mute.
As he translated it for us; there is going to be a ball near the Mount Olympus² where all the heroes will be invited and no mortals shalt be allowed but by decree we were to go to Castle Pluere³ and be invited too as so most of my chosen loyal knights."
I thought perhaps my aunt Lady Marhaus passed my name round all the heroes and gods and with her influence got me the invitation. I begineth my routine by getting a rubbed-mineral-salt bath in the banks of the Avon river.
Then I chose the most loyal knights as company: Sir Hideous, Sir Perilous , Sir Itsambiguous, and Sir Harpocratus to go with me on my best deeds of arms and pomp to this court ball. As I entered the gates, the sounds of trumpets and lire filled the place in so remarkable vibration thus tilteth my head unconsciously from side to side as making chorus. I noticed my company of knights beating too their metal fingers against their swords as if marking the tempo.
--"¡Ah lords! Ye are fully welcome ! Now know I well ye be the knights that shall achieve the Sangreal and the head of the gay-blood boy for unto them alone many mysteries are revealed."" Sayeth a screaming heroe of the castle in white garments standeth not far.
--- I am Queen M0rgana Anak....! I was interrupted by the loudest music so far since my days of a dancer.
Later on, resolveth I to enjoy the party noticing that many knights of this court were dancing in a state of looseness. I did the gymnopaidia but then inhaled some mal-aria and before I knew it I danced the calypso to the sound of hard drums and lutes with an improvised limbo stick belonging to the guards of the gates. Sir Itsambiguous danced the cordax with Sir Perilous and after awhile, they disappeared from the hall. The limping and dwarfed Sir Hideous sang an odalisk ode to the sound of harps on the glory and brave deeds of Sir Harpocratus. Time raceth and I contemplateth the inspired knights recalling the wonderful moments we have had in our ever endangereth search. Oh-Oh.
Something was not seth right. Sir Itsambiguous was missing for too long an hour joint with Sir Perilous. I asked Sir Harpocratus at the sight of his extremely opened eyes. "'What saw thee noble knight?"".
He told me by vigorous hand sign, said he: """I saw nothing beneath that wall, onto a painting of that prairie, right to the direction of the latrines left in the direction to the vibration of moaning."" I followed suit with great effort and wondereth what could have scared him to his wits but first I seizeth Sir Hideous from his horrendous-off-tone ode to accompany me and limping we both went. What I found was the foulest and shamefulest custom man hath ever perceived. I cried.
Sir Itsambiguous and Sir Perilous hath been discovereth in "flagrante delicto" doing a variation of the cordax dance in which the joineth lower appendages movest in rhythmic coordination against each other. The knights were asked by the heroes of the castle whence that new custom came. At the sound of a bewildered moan, the heroes of the Castle Pluere exclaimeth:
---Fair lords rather be advised and yield ye to our custom for whatever gay passeth here must give a dishful of his blood from his right arm!!!"""(meaning not the right arm of course).
"For so a knight is little worth who desirest not to have a damsel. "
---"Whatsoever sayest ye I take no heed, save only that at this time when that scorn angerest me it makes me stronger in battle". Sayeth Sir Perilous. Chaos followeth.
And so, I made wimpy hand signs to Sir Harpocratus to follow me or die with intent, (you know, if he doth get it not that is his problem) and proceedeth I to leave the room as swiftly as I could. The rest of my knights held field against that multitude till it was nigh. So we parted from the castle. I never heard of them again. Poor Sir Hidious doth not madeth it out the Castle Pluere because of his hurt leg.

In my dreams at nigh I hath a vision of them dancing the original version of the cordax into the sounds of harps and flutes. It madeth me sick in the stomach.
New address to my knights: Abide the law by the faith of our bodies as we are truest and heterosexual knights; accept the custom of the castle when ye know it better. This shalt I hand-sign to all my knights and subjects to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.