A dole in a tragical mirth.

Me and my company were in the town of Devon where I started my day with the right foot taking another bath. I live for these natural mineral salt baths.
How many men hath I lost in gayness wars.-I thought but contented on soon the head or the mid-lower appendage to cut from he who stoleth my beautiful boys for him alone. Sometime I shalt account that for your amusement. .... ...I am no. ... I am... I ....sorry, I suddenly developed a teary moment.

We seth forth to explore the city of Devon and its surroundings. How many obtuse goldsmiths, dirty beggars, mean lawyers, filthy agents, naked male whores, gold-chain money laundries and lute-makers are concentrated in one city and in one large plain alone! I know this city by now. Take hades in the dark medieval era and you will produce the Devon city.

I had seen a tavern keeper there also. He had his pub called "Pato, anyone?"* without any clients but he made us welcome that morning.
"Is that a goddamn bow?" I asked him in a mood seeing he just lowered his mid torso a little and seemed he had something of an afeminate manner and something of a female bosom as well. He assented to my question..

"Well, that is an english bow, cearc*". After he prayed us to come to his pavilion, he hath set before us mulled wines, berries, spices, and bread.

I do not know where all this food came from. As I tasted the wild berries and the bread, I marveled a thought in my mind: I hath rat this morning.... I have been eating too many courses. If I do not get a diet I will get a little chubby.

"Leave-me hitherr!" I ordered after drinking a glass of that good and wonderful mulled wine. Forthwith came out a foul smoke from the bottle in the form of a white monk and suddenly disappeared the form into nothingness. I began to think the wine had some effect on me or had been altered by magic but then appeared the monk again saying : "Queen Morgana Anakina: thou art unworthy..., go thou hence and withdraw thee from this holy place"....

Now I thought I had enough to drink. I looked around and saw the same fat, short and hairy tavern keeper with a dirty mop on his hands. My knights were busy eating and drinking. No one else was talking to me. The monk appeared and said again: "I shalt counsel ye, countrymen: never more enter into the presence of Avalon's queen and enchantress when ye can avoid it"
--"Why?" asked the curious tavern keeper.
--"Because this queen has a mark in her neck. A polyp that resembles the number of a dark and vengeful goddess called Morrigan*, the number 6 .
---"By the mystery of Sucellus*, I ....don't know sir. ....It. may be instead a hickie... " Replied the tavern keeper who was not supersticious.

Some of my knights who entered were staring too at my protruding mass moving the head side to side and others lowered themselves for ways to see if it was a cheap hickie. Awwww...!..


The damned monk changing the tone added:
"She has also a message on it too, I'll show ye. If you look her polyp closely on black candle-light and move the candle in circles around her polyp 3 times, like so, you shalt see a motto tatooed around it in sceptre that says: "Evil eye for he who thinks evil".

This time it was I who looked at him in awe. What?! As I tried to watch it closely, (the bending of the neck was sorely unconfortable) I was sure my mark seemed to condemn myself. Was the polyp really a bad hickie made by a bad and sinister lover who I don't remember? If it was, why did he feel the urge to write something in my neck? Can someone trade me an heterosexual man for an unwanted tatoo?

So quick bright things come to a confusion. I rolled my eyes to reflect on the motto which became tatooed in my skin. As I tried to watch it closely, (the bending of the neck was beginning to cramp my muscles) I took justice in my own hands.

In horrible pounding waves, heat sucked from my magic veins that polyp was blowed. It slit in two, and the spreaded sorrow of the life of the polyp ended dissolved in its fierce blood presenting its shining cargo.

I came to a conclusion. May the jaws of darkness devour the white coward damned monk and horrid tavern keeper before war, death, sickness or pestilence lay siege to this entire city.
I departed.

*This means: "chick"
*This means "Duck, anyone?" and alludes to the question: "Are you gay?"