O misery what a life !!!

I wept bitterly for what followed shall be a depart of the soul of Harry Potter. I first came hither (to Corstopitum) to see if there was a possibility of seeing any of my knights alive but how could I have imagined there was one of them slain? Plus, I would find the gay-blood boy dead. OHHHHH. All the wide world saw never greater grief!

Still weeping, I thought of his true service and legacy. Thus, anything in his honor should be done rightly and richly and in the noblest manner possible: I'll sew a new white vest and garment for the funeral. I shall adorn myself for this merry occasion. I practiced my best stand-comedy jokes of the hour. We did send for a priestess of Cybele to make it official.

As great commotion caused the hurried arrangement of his last resting place, someone suggested me to make him wear his wig and his own clothes for the eternal banquet with gods...

So I did. Finnally the crypt read: 'Here lies Harry Potter. Never shall a pilgrim pass this way who will recognize his true sexual identity." (I think if he were still alive he would have thanked me a great deal as many of these celebrities in reality doth like to be recognized, admired and sexually speculated about. )

By enchantment and according to an ancient custom, his sword (along with an elongated hung- charm) was set in a mighty black stone which by magic, floated to and fro the ocean surf that encircles Avalon.

Many years from now, his tomb will endure the test of time and shall be discovered to fool the mighty archaeologists driving them to conclude that no matter what his real talents were, if he didn't want to be discovered he better should have chosen another profession.